COMpWiZkEv's Xanga

new blog

Wed, 30 May 2007 04:17:44 GMT

http://www.themrwade.com

Where are you going?

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 05:44:24 GMT

So I'm reading this book by my good friend Andy Stanley.

"Today, you took a step. You either moved closer to or further away from what you hope to be. Most people moved further away. A handful overcame the negative inertia of this fallen world and moved forward.
But nobody – nobody – stood still."

Louder than Words – Andy Stanley

Where did you
go today?

Ouch

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 13:41:22 GMT

“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.”- Isaiah 53:3-4

...ouch

Suffering

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 04:05:53 GMT

Sometimes I look at my life as a Christian and wonder: where is the suffering? I know that God has warned of suffering Christians will endure because of their faith - but sometimes I don't see it. I at least don't see it in the traditional denotation of suffering. But in my life, I think God has called me to endure a type of modern suffering that I must persevere through in order to pursue His great vision for my life.

I just started my 4th semester at SMU. I'm a Computer Engineering / Mathematics double major. That's enough for most people to say "Wow!"- turn around - *cough* "Nerd." (Emphasis on the cough.)

But here enlies the problem: I really don't consider myself any type of scientist and barely an engineer. I am an artist. I would much rather be producing or creating or dreaming something up - and then leading something great, spectacular, and most importantly - effective. These are my natural and rewarding strengths - to produce art. Not painting. Not welding together random pieces of metal and selling it to some clueless person to put in front of an office building. Nothing traditional (I don't think I have one traditional bone in my body).

This internal conflict between scientist and artist has surely led me to question my major. I've suffered many difficult and confusing days where all I can do is think "Why am I doing this?" For some reason I've never changed my major/direction in school. I've considered it. But where I am has always seemed "right." It has always seemed like the "correct" path I was chosen to take because, while I don't enjoy it - I'm quite good at it (and so humble too).

But something clicked today. I don't know why just today - it seems as though I've known this answer in the back of my mind all along - or maybe it's clicked before, I've forgotten, and now remembered again. Nonetheless, it has been brought to my forethought today. Why am I doing this? - I am in preparation. For what? To be prepared to do something unsatisfying for the rest of my life? - No! I am in preparation to use my knowledge, skills, and abilities in science to create some form of amazing art. Some of you may be going... that's it? That's your big revelation? Yes. You see - this is an amazing combination of strengths that not a lot of people have. You have your scientists/engineers. You have your artists. Separated. Divided. Two completely different types of people - with different strengths, different goals, different satisfactions. But God has a special calling for me. Let me not boast on my behalf, but on His. He has a special calling for me to use my unique blessings to bridge the gap and produce something grand. What? I don't know yet. But that's OK. I'm in preparation. My suffering is a different kind. I suffer the ever-growing capacity to do something great - but needing to wait patiently for my Lord to prepare me for my calling and then to finally say "Go!"

Intoxicating [updated]

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 02:50:08 GMT

Kevin is...

living joyfully in the strength of the LORD

If I'm out of my mind it's You, You
'Cause I'm crazy in love with You, You
Inebriated by You, You
'Cause I'm head over heels with You, You
Intoxicating by David Crowder Band

Digital Socializing

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 03:00:14 GMT

During an interview with Steve Jobs, he was asked if he was worried about Microsoft's new iPod competitor coming out in... well, whenever it comes out:

Microsoft has announced its new iPod competitor, Zune. It says that this device is all about building communities. Are you worried?

In a word, no. I've seen the demonstrations on the Internet about how you can find another person using a Zune and give them a song they can play three times. It takes forever. By the time you've gone through all that, the girl's got up and left! You're much better off to take one of your earbuds out and put it in her ear. Then you're connected with about two feet of headphone cable.

That's awesome. Standing ovation to Steve Jobs.

I found this on Digg, which linked to an article on MSNBC (a Microsoft site). I find this quite humorous.

Vision Has Its Price

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 23:49:57 GMT

I don't even know where to start on this one. I am currently reading Visioneering by Andy Stanley, and today I just read the most powerful chapter in the book yet: Vision Has Its Price. I wish there was some way I could convey how I believe that this chapter and the concepts in it will effect my life, but there are not words for such an expression.

Pursuing God's vision for your life is not a safe thing to do. God never promised it would be safe. There will be sacrifice, times of uncertainty, and points where you wonder if you'll make it through. But God's vision is not about safety or security. It's not about comfort or things going "as planned."

Andy (we're on a first name basis ) talks about Karen Bennett, a woman who abandoned a life of comfort in the suburbs to pursue God's vision for her in the dangerous inner-city. She and five of her friends started a church - Metro Assembly - a safe place to minister to the children in this violent inner-city of Atlanta.

"Metro Assembly has been broken into over seventy times. Several years ago Karen was mugged. Three of their staff were beaten up by teenagers who attended one of their services. Most of the windows on their buses have been shot out. Ten of the children who attended their first church service have been murdered. The first funeral Karen performed was for one of her own staff members." read more...

What would your response be, if you were Karen?

Here's hers:
"If you decide that what God is asking you to do with your life is just too much on you and is just a little too inconvenient,
then you will never see the miracles he has for you."

Today, Metro Assembly ministers to over 3000 children every weekend in multiple services. This success didn't come without price. It came with a large price. But it also came with miracles that are transforming the lives of thousands of young children today.

So here are the Cliff notes - Andy puts it this way:

Vision requires the commitment of a parachutist.
You don't "sort of" parachute.

I pray for the courage to pursue God's vision for my life. I don't know what all it entails - and I never will. But I can see it being unfolded in front of my eyes, and I want to be willing to make the sacrifices it takes to further His Kingdom.

"For reasons known only to him, God has chosen to work through men and women who are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the "thing" he has placed in their hearts to do. His choicest vehicles are those men and women who courageously lay the things that represent safety and security at his feet for the sake of what could be and should be...

"When a man or woman is willing to give up something valuable for a God-ordained vision, God looks upon it as worship." -Andy (p.136 - Visioneering)

May I be willing to forever worship my King through sacrifice.

Terror Alert Level

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 02:58:46 GMT

While I should be studying, I was taking a look on my Google Personalized Homepage. I have one tab called "Home" which is filled with the stuff I usually like to keep track of and one tab called "Random Fun" filled with random stuff.

I'm not sure whether this should concern me or not:

EDIT: For Christina - I put the "Terror Alert Level" under random fun because I think the whole color system that we have for this is pretty funny.

I LOVE THE GYM!

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 15:13:25 GMT

Yes, you read that correctly - I love the gym! I never thought I'd say it, but it's now true.

I taking this wellness class this semester called "Individual Fitness." Basically, we go to the gym 2 days a week - Tuesday / Thursday @ 8 AM - and workout. I LOVE IT!

So far I've been twice (Tuesday and Thursday of this week). We start out the day in the indoor track. Each day I ran 1.5 miles, which I think is quite an accomplishment considering my lack of running experience (and asthma). After that, we go and do 5-6 weight training exercises. The whole process typically takes 50-60 minutes, and you're done.

So far the only results are that I can't lift my hands above my head and that stairs have proposed a new challenge. But I'm hoping that all this soreness turns into some sort of muscular result. I'm not expecting anything major - any improvement on my toothpick body would be nice.

What you want at the moment

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 03:33:10 GMT

The main cause for failure and unhappiness
is trading what you want most
for what you want at the moment.
-Anonymous

Now, I'm not usually one for "inspirational" quotes, but I ran across this one on the internet today. I think it pretty adequately describes the inner-conflict we have with sin. While what we want most as Christians is to please God, we can somehow get caught up in a moment with the temptations of sin.